你就在此地,不要走动。我买几个橘子去。背影The Sight of Father’s Back


背影The Sight of Father’s Back

朱自清Zhu Ziqing

| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选一》

我与父亲不相见已二年余了,我最不能忘记的是他的背影。那年冬天,祖母死了,父亲的差使也交卸了,正是祸不单行的日子,我从北京到徐州,打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。到了徐州见着父亲,看见满院狼藉的东西,又想起祖母,不禁簌簌地流下眼泪。

It is more than two years since I last saw father, and what I can never forget is the sight of his back. Misfortunes never come singly. In the winter of more than two years ago, grandma died and father lost his job. I left Beijing for Xuzhou to join father in hastening home to attend grandma’s funeral. When I met father in Xuzhou, the sight of the disorderly mess in his courtyard and the thought of grandma started tears trickling down my cheeks.

要点:
1、“祸不单行”= Misfortunes never come singly.关于灾难,灾祸的说法有好几种,文学翻译中常用“misfortune, mishap, suffering”表自然灾害时有disaster, catastrophe, calamity
2、”那年冬天“亲们的第一反应一定是in that winter,然而并,不,是,因为前文并没有提及那一年具体是哪一年,而that 只指代前面提到过的事物,所以要在winter后面解释一下。
3、join sb in dong sth=和某人一起做某事,join通常表示参加某种集体活动,也可以指参加军队,社团,是翻译中很常见的一个词,对于这种用法多多的词,亲们找一本权威词典把他的直系血亲(变形,意思,用法)和旁系血亲(同义词,辨析)全部摸透。
4、hasten通常意为“催促,加速”但后面加了地名就是“赶往某地”了
5、“到了徐州见着父亲”这是一个多动词的句子,在文学翻译中很常见,翻之前要先确定主要动词,将其定为谓语动词,其他不重要的降级为从句或非谓语结构,再不重要译为介词。“到了”和“见到”都不是主要动词,所以他俩的出场方式就是“从句+介词短语“
6、“看见满院狼藉的东西,又想起祖母,不禁簌簌地流下眼泪。”对于这半部分的处理也值得学习,将动词转换成名词,使行文更加流畅
7、trickle意为“使缓慢流淌,使慢慢移动“,很好地体现了“簌簌”之意,文学翻译对于这种小词的运用是其区别于非文学翻译的一大特征,,使人感觉那个流泪之人就在眼前。要做好文学翻译,平时就要多积累这类小词,比如“看”也分很多种:squint是“斜视,眯着眼看“,goggle是”瞪视“他们所表达的韵味是单单用see 和 look无法达到的。

综述:本段注意多动词的句的译法,join的用法,以及译者对于动词的选用,动词选得好,,整篇文章都会“活”起来。

父亲说:“事已如此,不必难过,好在天无绝人之路!”

Father said, “Now that things‘ve come to such a pass, it’s no use crying. Fortunately, Heaven always leaves one a way out.”

1、”天无绝人之路“采用反语正译法,意为”上天总会给人一条出路“

综述:“反语正译”应该是首次粗线,意思是源语言从反面表达(即表达一个否定的意思),由于二者语言习惯的差异,翻译过来后采用正面表达。有时为了使语气更加强烈,表述更加准确到位,也会采用这种方法。如“男儿有泪不轻弹”译为 Men only weep when deeply hurt.

回家变卖典质,父亲还了亏空;又借了钱办了丧事。这些日子,家中光景很是惨淡,一半为了丧事,一半为了父亲的赋闲。丧事完毕,父亲要到南京谋事,我也要回到北京念书,我们便同行。

After arriving home in Yangzhou, father paid off debts by selling or pawning things. He also borrowed money to meet the funeral expenses. Between grandma’s funeral and father’s unemployment, our family was then in reduced circumstances. After the funeral was over, father was to go to Nanjing to look for a job and I was to return to Beijing to study, so we started out together.

要点:
1、“一半为了丧事,一半为了父亲的赋闲“译为” Between grandma’s funeral and father’s unemployment“,”between…and…”意为“半因…,半因…”
2、start out意为“起初,最初,开始时“”开始(生活,职业或重要阶段)“”出发,启程“,start也是一个出镜率很高的词~要把他的七大姑八大姨统统搞明白~
3、pawn“典当,抵押品“,他的小伙伴是pledge有木有很惊讶,,
4、“光景惨淡“译为be in reduced circumstances“,可以按固定搭配来记,意为”境况不济,生活拮据“,此外 reduce有很多用法也值得大家注意,比如叶圣陶《我坐了木船》中”无可奈何只好出此下策“就用了be reduced to sth 这个用法,意为“被迫从事…”

综述:本段重点关注start, reduce的多种用法,有时候你以为你对某个词很熟悉,其实并没有,老老实实查字典,套用一句话“你以为你以为的就是你以为的吗“看看张爷爷的散文吧~\(≧▽≦)/~

到南京时,有朋友约去游逛,勾留了一日;第二日上午便须渡江到浦口,下午上车北去。

I spent the first day in Nanjing strolling about with some friends at their invitation, and was ferrying across the Yangtse River to Pukou the next morning and thence taking a train for Beijing on the afternoon of the same day.

1、stroll about 意为“散步,漫步“
如Strolling about these gardens , with the tree shadows swaying on the white wall.
白墙上树影婆娑,池塘中柳枝起舞。
意思相近的词还有amble ,wander ,ramble
2、at their invitation意为“接受某人邀请“,译文将原文中的动词转译为名词,这种词性转换也是翻译中常用的手段
比如:“我们不承诺放弃使用武力“=”our non-commitment to renouncing the use of force”中”承诺“和”放弃“都做了名词化处理
3、ferry 原意“渡船,摆渡“,ferry across the river 译为”渡江“
4、thence,这个陌生的兄弟是副词~,意为“从那里,然后,随之“,比如He hitched south towards Italy, and thence into France. 他搭乘便车往南去意大利,然后从那里进入法国。有点类似于thereafter(此后),therefrom(由此,从那儿),
说到副词们,他们也是一个奇妙的世界,它们对于文学翻译的贡献也是功不可没。

综述:这短短的一句包含的信息量很大,因此我们花了比较大的篇幅来讲,主要是因为它使用的词汇,如果不使用这些词汇,译文的篇幅可能还要长。。。

父亲因为事忙,本已说定不送我,叫旅馆里一个熟识的茶房陪我同去。他再三嘱咐茶房,甚是仔细。但他终于不放心,怕茶房不妥贴,颇踌躇了一会。其实那年我已二十岁,北京来往过两三次,是没有甚么要紧的了。他踌躇了一会,终于决定还是自己送我去。我两三回劝他不必去;他只说,“不要紧,他们去不好!”

Father said he was too busy to go and see me off at the railway station, but would ask a hotel waiter that he knew to accompany me there instead. He urged the waiter again and again to take good care of me, but still did not quite trust him. He hesitated for quite a while about what to do. As a matter of fact, nothing would matter at all because I was then twenty and had already travelled on Beijing-Pukou Railway a couple of times. After some wavering, he finally decided that he himself would accompany me to the station. I repeatedly tried to talk him out of it, but he only said, “Never mind! It won’t do to trust guys like those hotel boys!”

1、“urged the waiter again and again“意为”再三叮嘱“,表示”再三“的词组还有“repeatedly, over and over again, time after time”
2、这段出现了两个“犹豫,踌躇“,分别用了hesitate(强调迟疑,顾虑,常与about, over一起用) 和 waver(常与between, on, over连用,意思和hesitate差不多),其他表犹豫的词还有”boggle(畏缩不前,因胆怯而犹豫),falter(因缺乏信心而犹豫),用时要分清语境
3、“劝某人不要做某事“=talk sb out of sth,新表述get√
4、”两三回”就是“再三“,用到了上面提到过的repeatedly
5、本段“怕他不妥帖”和“他们去不好”中的“妥帖”、“去不好”其深层含义都是“不相信”,都表达了对茶房的不信任感,因此,译文两处都用了trust。

综述:有些词带有强烈的中国色彩,而英文中并没有十分对应的词,常用方法就是结合背景分析他的具体含义和感情色彩。

我们过了江,进了车站。我买票,他忙着照看行李。行李太多了,得向脚夫行些小费,才可过去。他便又忙着和他们讲价钱。我那时真是太聪明过分,总觉得他说话不大漂亮,非得自己插嘴不可。但他终于讲定了价钱;就送我上车。他给我拣定了靠车门的一张椅子;我将他给我做的紫毛大衣铺好坐位。

We entered the railway station after crossing the River. While I was at the booking office buying a ticket, father saw to my luggage. There was quite a bit of luggage and he had to bargain with the porter over the fee. I was then such a smart aleck that I frowned upon the way father was haggling and was on the verge of chipping in a few words when the bargain was finally clinched. Getting on the train with me, he picked me a seat close to the carriage door. I spread on the seat the brownish fur-lined overcoat he had got tailor made for me.

要点:
1、 See to意为“注意,照看照料,保证”
2、 “小费”在这里并译作了fee而非tip, 前者主要指专门职业的佣金,后者指给服务生额外的费用。
3、 smart aleck 意为“自作聪明的人”,这句话中的“聪明”是反话哦。
4、 “总觉得他说话不大漂亮”即嫌父亲不会讲价钱,frown upon 意为“不赞成,反对”
5、 Verge 作名词时意为“濒于…,即将…”常用于on the verge of (接近于,濒于),此外verge还有动词意思”接近,濒于“
6、 Chip 这个词大家可能经常看到他的名词形式“薯片~“(吃货们,沸腾起来),他的动词形式我们也要注意起来”打破,铲掉,清除“,而chip in 意为”插嘴,凑钱”,chip away=削弱,这也属于一个小词~表示”插嘴”的词还有interrupt ,cut in ,break in~

综述:本段关注译者精准的用词和灵活的句式。

他嘱我路上小心,夜里要警醒些,不要受凉。又嘱托茶房好好照应我。我心里暗笑他的迂;他们只认得钱,托他们直是白托!而且我这样大年纪的人,难道还不能料理自己吗?唉,我现在想想,那时真是太聪明了!

He told me to be watchful on the way and be careful not to catch cold at night. He also asked the train attendants to take good care of me. I sniggered at father for being so impractical, for it was utterly useless to entrust me to those attendants, who cared for nothing but money. Besides, it was certainly no problem for a person of my age to look after himself. Oh, when I come to think of it, I can see how smarty I was in those days!

要点:
1、 snigger是前面提到的表示“笑“的小词,表”窃笑,暗笑“,小词小词小词~重要事情说三遍!
2、 “迂“在这里译作”不切实际“或”没有见识“解,译为“impractical”
3、 “那时真是太聪明了”也是反语,译为how smarty I was in those days ,smarty和前文的smart aleck 童鞋是一个意思=“自作聪明的人“,文学翻译的语气很重要,所以积累单词时,褒贬意也要多多注意

综述:此段注意“迂”和“聪明”的翻译,前者要深刻理解含义,后者深刻理解其语气~

我说道,“爸爸,你走吧。”他望车外看了看,说,“我买几个橘子去。你就在此地,不要走动。”我看那边月台的栅栏外有几个卖东西的的等着顾客。走到那边月台,须穿过铁道,须跳下去又爬上去。父亲是一个胖子,走过去自然要费些事。我本来要去的,他不肯,只好让他去。我看见他戴着黑布小帽。穿着黑布大马褂,深青布棉袍,蹒跚在走到铁道边,慢慢探身下去,尚不大难。可是他穿过铁道,要爬上那边月台,就不容易了。他用两手攀着上面,两脚再向上缩;他肥胖的身子向左微倾,显出努力的样子。这时我看见他的的背影,我眼泪很快地流下来了。我赶紧拭干了泪,怕他看见,也怕别人看见。我再向外看时,他已抱了朱红的橘子往回走了。

I said, “Dad, you might leave now.” But he looked out of window and said, “I’m going to buy you some tangerines. You just stay here. Don’t move around.” I caught sight of several vendors waiting for customers outside the railings beyond a platform. But to reach that platform would require crossing the railway track and doing some climbing up and down. That would be a strenuous job for father, who was fat. I wanted to do all that myself, but he stopped me, so I could do nothing but let him go. I watched him hobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the railway track. His hands held onto the upper part of the platform, his legs huddled up and his corpulent body tipped slightly towards the left, obviously making an enormous exertion. While I was watching him from behind, tears gushed from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away lest he or others should catch me crying. The next moment when I looked out of the window again, father was already on the way back, holding bright red tangerines in both hands.

要点:
1、 sight在文中出现多次,它本身也是多义词,也是第一次就是在题目上“the sight of”,此外还有”catch sight of(看见)”“go out of sight(在视线内消失)” ”lose sight of(看不到,忘记) “等,是替换see, look的常用词哦
2、 “走到那边月台,须穿过铁道,须跳下去又爬上去。“又是我们熟悉的多动词句,前两个直接顺译下来,”跳下去又爬上去”译为do some climbing up and down,(此处“跳下去”的本质也是“爬下去”)简洁明了,动作感强。
3、 “尚不大难”中的“尚”是“尚且”,有着转折的含义
4、Huddle意为“蜷缩,挤成一团”如The boys huddle together under the rock to keep warm. 男孩们缩成一团在石头底下取暖。Huddle up=”向上缩“
5、“他用两手攀着上面,两脚再向上缩;他肥胖的身子向左微倾,显出努力的样子。“我们主要分析一下,译者对于小词的使用,huddle前面已经说过,用得十分形象。Corpulent 意为”肥胖的,肥大的“,此外还有chubby(丰满的) tubby(矮胖的),plump(微胖的),来表示不同程度的”胖“(真的不想提到这个话题好吗(⊙﹏⊙)b),这再一次提醒我们文学翻译对于词汇要求的具体性,不要只记“fat”了!
6、Gush(喷涌) 和wipe(擦拭)~都要记起来,再说一遍,文学翻译的难度之一就是用词的准确性
7、Lest意为“免得,以免”,引导目的状语从句,句中用“should(可省) +动原”如He took his raincoat with him lest it should rain.
他带了雨衣,怕下雨。
同样的,还有for fear that, in case等

综述:本段一定要注意文学翻译中用词的准确性和句式的灵活性

过铁道时,他先将橘子散放在地上,自己慢慢爬下,再抱起橘子走。到这边时,我赶紧去搀他。他和我走到车上,将橘子一股脑儿放在我的皮大衣上。于是扑扑衣上泥土,心里很轻松似的,过了一会说,“我走了;到那边来信!”我望着他走出去。他走了几步,回过头看见我,说,“进去吧,里边没人。”等他的背影混入来来往往的人里,再找不着了,我便进来坐下,我的眼泪又来了。

In crossing the railway track, he first put the tangerines on the ground, climbed down slowly and then picked them up again. When he came near the train, I hurried out to help him by the hand. After boarding the train with me, he laid all the tangerines on my overcoat, and patting the dirt off his clothes, he looked somewhat relieved and said after a while, “I must be going now. Don’t forget to write me from Beijing!” I gazed after his back retreating out of the carriage. After a few steps, he looked back at me and said, “Go back to your seat. Don’t leave your things alone.” I, however, did not go back to my seat until his figure was lost among crowds of people hurrying to and fro and no longer visible. My eyes were again wet with tears.

要点:
1、“搀”这个动词并不好翻,遇到不会翻的动词,可以选择用描述这个动作的方法来翻译,此处译为help sb by the hand
2、”怕掉身上的土“=pat the dirt off
3、“里面没人”不宜按字面直译,挖掘深层含义=“没有人照看行李“此处采用了leave alone的句式
4、“来来往往的人“=people hurrying to and fro

综述:本段还是有很多用法精确的词,要注意积累。

近几年来,父亲和我都是东奔西走,家中的光景是一日不如一日。他少年出外谋生,独力支持,做了许多大事。那知老境却如此颓唐!他触目伤怀,自然不能自己。情郁于中,自然要发之于外;家庭琐屑便往往触他之怒。他待我渐渐不同往日。但最近两年的不见,他终于忘却我的不好,只是惦记着我,惦记着我的儿子。我北来后,他写了一信给我,信中说道,“我身体平安,惟膀子疼痛利害,举箸提笔,诸多不便,大约大去之期不远矣。”我读到此处,在晶莹的泪光中,又看见那肥胖的,青布马褂的背影。唉!我不知何时再能与他相见!

In recent years, both father and I have been living an unsettled life, and the circumstances of our family going from bad to worse. Father left home to seek a livelihood when young and did achieve quite a few things all on his own. To think that he should now be so downcast in old age! The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up emotion had to find a vent. That is why even mere domestic trivialities would often make him angry, and meanwhile he became less and less nice with me. However, the separation of the last two years has made him more forgiving towards me. He keeps thinking about me and my son. After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he says. “I’m all right except for a severe pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing brushes. Perhaps it won’t be long now before I depart this life.” Through the glistening tears which these words had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to see him again.

要点:
1、“父亲和我都是东奔西走“之前提到过”东奔西走“可以译为 going here and there,但是此处的意思是”过着不稳定的生活”
2、“一日不如一日,每况愈下”=going from bad to worse
3、” 他少年出外谋生,独立支持,做了许多大事.”可以串进一个句子里,将“独立支持”作为状语,此外,“做了许多大事“可以按”小有成就“来译
4、“颓唐“可译为downcast ,downhearted, dejected.
5、“他触目伤怀,自然不能自己”意即“他看到家庭败落,情不自禁为之悲伤“,译为”The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow“,在这里我们又见到了一个表示”使某人感到…”的句式,即fill sb with a feeling of,
在这里我们可以随手做一个小小的总结:generate in sb a feeling/sensation of ;inspire sb by (使某人振奋);give sb great pleasure(使某人感到愉悦)
平时多做这样的总结,慢慢水平就会提升
6、pent up意为”压抑的,积压的,难以抒怀的“,其他的小伙伴还有“repressed ,constrained ,restrained, curbed”
7、” 他待我渐渐不同往日“意即“他待我渐渐不如过去(那么好)”
8、”我读到此处,在晶莹的泪光中…”我们看到这个句子第一反应肯定是“when I…”而张爷爷对于此句的处理值得借鉴,调整语序,将”在晶莹的泪光中“译为介词短语放在最前面,既避免了合译之后句子前后不平衡,也避免了分译,使译文句子不至于太过琐碎~看来大师很懂得调和~

综述:有时一些作品里的中文语言太过含蓄,英译时一定要把深层意思表达出来,当然前提是根据已有知识和上下文,不能妄加揣测

Notes
tangerine:n 橘子
vendor:n 小贩;摊贩
railing:n 金属栏杆
platform:n 站台
railway:n 铁路;铁道
strenuous:adj 费力的;艰苦的
hobble:v 蹒跚;跛行
skullcap:n 无檐小圆帽
mandarin jacket:大马褂
huddle:v 蜷缩
corpulent:adj 发福的;福态的
tip:v 倾斜
enormous:adj 巨大的;极大的
exertion:n 努力;尽力;费力
gush:v 涌出;冒出
lest:conj 免得;以免
overcoat:n 大衣
pat:v 轻拍,拍打
relieved:adj 感到宽慰的;显得开心的
retreat:v 离去;后退
carriage:n (火车的)客车厢
visible:adj 可见的


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